There is no greater risk than matrimony.
But there is nothing happier than a happy marriage.
-Benjamin Disraeli, 1870
Milestone-a significant event or stage in the life, progress, development, or the like of a person, nation, etc. They also can be a big celebration. Aaron and I are some of the luckiest people on earth. We both have parents who have determined from the first day of marriage that they will last. Divorce was never an option-never! and that is one of the best gifts parents can give their children.
I've seen my parents argue, but I've seen them resolve their conflict-all within earshot and eye shot of my brother and me. Controversy surrounds conflict. I, for one, tends to shy away from it, but I heard someone say that kids need to see arguments but they need to see the peaceful resolution of that argument so they know it's not something to fear or an excuse to give up.
So, thanks for fighting?
I remember when we got married, Aaron's mom Frances told me marriage is hard work. At this point in time, we'd waited for the day to say I Do for over 6 years and I could not imagine marriage being something other than total bliss. 11 years hindsight-she was right. It is hard work. Aaron and I have had to dig in hard sometimes and grit our teeth and get through some dark times in marriage, but we end up saying somewhere along the way that goes like this:
"I am not going anywhere-you have a contractual obligation to me and you are stuck, so lets figure this out". Perfect, we are not, but we know it can be done.
So thanks for your contractual obligation!
We reciently went to a marriage conference hosted my another seasoned couple. She was an alcoholic and an abuser. She often picked fights with him because that was her example. 3 years into their marriage, the turning point came when he said this:
"When I married you, I took my vows seriously, I said them to you, but I gave my oath to God. If I said it to you alone, I would've walked out on you a long time ago."
So thanks for taking your vows seriously!
For better or worse. Taking a deep breath for this one. Everyone has a defining moment that forever cements a relationship or forever shatters lives. That moment for us was in 2003 when Ben died unexpectedly. Sometimes in this world with rumors of divorce and fragmented relationships, I wondered if this might be when the shoe would drop and this would be too much for them. I was brought to tears at times with my parents gentle, honest grief that showed me a few things.
It showed me that kindness defuses anger, persistence pays off and that more than anything, they were a team. I never once heard them bicker, I never once heard them blame anyone. Instead what I saw was compassion for each other. At times, it would have been easier for them to give up and settle, but instead stopped and took a break, went for a walks, gave hugs, gritted their teeth and continued until things were done right.
That showed me that their death would be the only end to their marriage.
Thanks for taking seriously the vow to stay together - for better or worse!
Mom and dad met in an unusual way, and I might be desperate enough to share with you how it was just so we could get a visit out of them, but it would soon be followed by my funeral, so I won't share now, but the day after she dies, I will post a blog. Don't know why she doesn't like it, but out of respect for her, I won't say-for now anyway.
They met in January and were married by my grandpa in September. My grandparents met my dad the week of their wedding. Someone asked my grandmother how she felt about my mom marrying someone she just met. She wisely cracked "I'm not marrying him, she picked him, she's got to figure it out".
They took a road trip from Iowa to Colorado to settle into married life, dad says mom cooked for 8 and he ate for 7, so they were off to a healthy start. Ben was born 5 years later and I was born 1 year and 10 days later. Mom says I wasn't planned, really!?!
We've moved a couple of times: Denver->Montrose->Grand Junction and they still live in the house I've live in since I was 8. Unheard of in my life now-a-days. Sarah at 6 has as many moves as I did with my parents, but that's that.
Their heart beats for their family and their land. They are building a place just for them, places with great memories, where the gate is open and the welcome American flag flies.
I am proud to be their daughter and the product of love and occasional sheer grit...
I've seen my parents argue, but I've seen them resolve their conflict-all within earshot and eye shot of my brother and me. Controversy surrounds conflict. I, for one, tends to shy away from it, but I heard someone say that kids need to see arguments but they need to see the peaceful resolution of that argument so they know it's not something to fear or an excuse to give up.
So, thanks for fighting?
I remember when we got married, Aaron's mom Frances told me marriage is hard work. At this point in time, we'd waited for the day to say I Do for over 6 years and I could not imagine marriage being something other than total bliss. 11 years hindsight-she was right. It is hard work. Aaron and I have had to dig in hard sometimes and grit our teeth and get through some dark times in marriage, but we end up saying somewhere along the way that goes like this:
"I am not going anywhere-you have a contractual obligation to me and you are stuck, so lets figure this out". Perfect, we are not, but we know it can be done.
So thanks for your contractual obligation!
We reciently went to a marriage conference hosted my another seasoned couple. She was an alcoholic and an abuser. She often picked fights with him because that was her example. 3 years into their marriage, the turning point came when he said this:
"When I married you, I took my vows seriously, I said them to you, but I gave my oath to God. If I said it to you alone, I would've walked out on you a long time ago."
So thanks for taking your vows seriously!
For better or worse. Taking a deep breath for this one. Everyone has a defining moment that forever cements a relationship or forever shatters lives. That moment for us was in 2003 when Ben died unexpectedly. Sometimes in this world with rumors of divorce and fragmented relationships, I wondered if this might be when the shoe would drop and this would be too much for them. I was brought to tears at times with my parents gentle, honest grief that showed me a few things.
It showed me that kindness defuses anger, persistence pays off and that more than anything, they were a team. I never once heard them bicker, I never once heard them blame anyone. Instead what I saw was compassion for each other. At times, it would have been easier for them to give up and settle, but instead stopped and took a break, went for a walks, gave hugs, gritted their teeth and continued until things were done right.
That showed me that their death would be the only end to their marriage.
Thanks for taking seriously the vow to stay together - for better or worse!
Mom and dad met in an unusual way, and I might be desperate enough to share with you how it was just so we could get a visit out of them, but it would soon be followed by my funeral, so I won't share now, but the day after she dies, I will post a blog. Don't know why she doesn't like it, but out of respect for her, I won't say-for now anyway.
They met in January and were married by my grandpa in September. My grandparents met my dad the week of their wedding. Someone asked my grandmother how she felt about my mom marrying someone she just met. She wisely cracked "I'm not marrying him, she picked him, she's got to figure it out".
They took a road trip from Iowa to Colorado to settle into married life, dad says mom cooked for 8 and he ate for 7, so they were off to a healthy start. Ben was born 5 years later and I was born 1 year and 10 days later. Mom says I wasn't planned, really!?!
We've moved a couple of times: Denver->Montrose->Grand Junction and they still live in the house I've live in since I was 8. Unheard of in my life now-a-days. Sarah at 6 has as many moves as I did with my parents, but that's that.
Their heart beats for their family and their land. They are building a place just for them, places with great memories, where the gate is open and the welcome American flag flies.
I am proud to be their daughter and the product of love and occasional sheer grit...
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