Car ads the crack me up!

Looking for a car in Japan is a little tricky, but I've found some ads that make me laugh. Thought I would share them with you.

"Ride in Lincoln style in Japan!" The Gloria is a 6-cylinder vehicle making it an extremely reliable and comfortable ride especially for long trips. There are cool features as well to include child safely lock mechanisms and a pretty nice size trunk. (Apparently they are unaware that child locks are very common, and what's with the trunk? Is that where they kept their kids until they discovered the child locks? Hmm.)

Nissan van , nice van, runs ok, heat and a/c take awhile to work fully. The Muffler drags a little
if you go over bumps. The van can seat 8 people and would be a perfect starter van. Selling because we do not need 2 vans. (Didn't know you needed a "Starter Van" to break into the subculture of the minivan)

Good car, will throw in 5 movie tickets to Yokota Theater! (that's really only worth $20, but thanks anyway)

"For sale to a serious driver" Runs well!! It has plenty of room with 3 rows of seating. It has 2 sunroofs which you will need because the A/C does not work. The dent in the back is from someone backing into a pole which was not me. The dent affects the rear wipers and makes this hideous sound when used. If you are anything like me you will get a good 3 years of driving out it and your kids will love it. There really isn't anything wrong with the vehicle that will affect getting a new JCI (rigorous Japanese car inspection, we have learned lots about this) on it. Besides the headlights need to be adjusted. (Whole thing just makes me laugh!)

Reasons listed for selling a car: (apparently they feel a need to justify their ad?)

I am getting married and need a bigger car. ( Big wife?)
Nice car strong motor but I want to upgrade to something else. (hmm, someone with commitment issues.)