Update, Sunday March 20

My own thoughts:
When you become a parent, you give up the right to be self sufficient, think only of yourself and make decisions based on a whim. Well, I guess you could, but the impact of that is really dangerous. It's a great thing -that maternal instinct- it's what keeps many of us from doing stupid stuff...(most of the time)

Normal decisions revolve around what we eat, what we will wear, where our kids will go to school and how we spend our money. But when earthquakes and radiation scares stick their ugly heads up, it's more challenging. FYI we don't straighten pictures anymore over at our house, just tilt your head if you want to see the picture. I am a mom and have enough redundant work in my day-can I get an amen!?!

I would agree that when we moved to Japan, we knew we might feel earthquakes, we new this could happen and we knew we might have to make a difficult decision about evacuations. We knew that could face us, but really, we never thought it would happen, no one did.

It soon becomes, at least for us, which voice, which authority do you listen to. That has been the tricky part. The American media has again overstepped their bounds and instead of participating in fact finding, they choose to make a serious situation more dramatic and by consequence even more dangerous. I agree that having a nuclear reactor leaking steam so close to my kids is really unnerving, but to tell you the truth, we are really in no danger. If this turned into Chernobyl, we would still be safe right here in our home and that is really worst case scenario.

Here in Japan, the news and government has been blamed for giving too conservative an estimate of the danger. According to them, it's not as bad as it seems.

Where do you find comfort and who is that voice of reason. All the families on base have had to weed out the voices and choose for themselves. I feel a little aimless, in a way, because Aaron has been gone when this decision needs to happen. I've never felt the burden and responsibility of parenthood so much as I do now. The choices I make now can really effect the kids for years to come. Am I putting too much pressure on this one decision? Who knows, really only God does. And for that I am grateful. It seems the voice of reason comes in His word when he says:

Numbers 6:24-26

²⁴ ‘May the Lord bless you
and protect you.
²⁵ May the Lord smile on you
and be gracious to you.
²⁶ May the Lord show you his favor
and give you his peace.’

Psalms 46

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
² So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
³ Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!

⁴ A river brings joy to the city of our God,
the sacred home of the Most High.
⁵ God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.
⁶ The nations are in chaos,
and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
and the earth melts!
⁷ The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel^b]">[b] is our fortress.

⁸ Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
See how he brings destruction upon the world.
⁹ He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”

¹¹ The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.

So I place my trust in Him, staying here fills me with peace, the thought of leaving makes me anxious and unnerved. So right now, I choose to listen to those God sent to Yokota. Col Feather has been a calming, reassuring voice that we have all learned to trust. He has experts he trusts, including Aaron, who, if I could brag, wrote many of the plans and procedures being used and reused and revisited on a daily basis.

The Sargent in charge of reading the radiation exposure on base is a personal friend of Aaron, we completely trust him to be accurate. It is reassuring that leadership-and their families- on the squadron, group and wing level have all chosen to stay in place as well as the safety officer and close personal friends who's husbands are working a minimum of 15 hours a day.

So now you don't have to go to church... There you go.

I am confident in the news today that said the air today had less radiation than it did the day they started monitoring the air quality. The news also included that our water source comes from a natural spring that comes from the mountains. Our food comes from America, which is actually pretty comforting currently.

So my plan tonight is to give the kids extra kisses as I tuck them into bed for the night, say a prayer that God would be gracious and fill in the gaps of my distracted parenting-found myself driving on the American side of the road today-oops, talk to Aaron when he calls and sleep well.

In the morning, I plan on taking Sarah to school, working on laundry, going to the gym, pick up some things from the BX-which is stocked with everything, and get gas in the car. I am getting my big girl panties on and moving forward being careful to limit my exposure to those things that are contrary to what I KNOW to be true, be cautious around those I know are scared and be thankful that everyone with their own set of circumstances make the right choice for their family.

PHEW, I may need to re-read this later in the week. I cannot tell you the pride I feel of Yokota, they are so professional and doing over and above anything asked of them. We are the tip of the sword and I am so proud to say "I am an Air Force Wife!"