Just wondering...

Is there a button under my mattress that signals an alarm that rings only in my kids ears that alerts them that I am about to relax? I think that same button is under the toilet seat, is that why guys always lift it and never return in to it's womanly preferred downward position? Wow, they are smart and secretive to not let that little hint go. I think one day I would like to take a bath without a kid interrupting me, no phone, no dog, and maybe a glass of wine! If the stars suddenly fall out of the sky, it's because I have attempted that very thing. By the way, if they do fall out of the sky, they will probably land in our newly made over living room if my luck holds.